As I walk around my local city of Norwich, I observe how people interact with each other and my results were 80% sadness and 20% heart lifting. The people who were making conversation with each other were mainly the workers on the market and the shoppers who enjoy a vintage cloth or eating proper fish & chips from the market….yom yom yom!
The rest of the people simply looked straight ahead of them, avoiding eye contact from a sociable soul or were fixated by their mobile phones.
I have worked in assisting people with their physical and emotional wellbeing all of my adult life but in the last 10 years I’ve seen the fear and sadness in people due to the judgemental world we now live in.
People feel they are entitled to express their opinion on the internet stating “it’s freedom of speech”. This statement frustrates me so much as ‘freedom of speech’ is not a green flag to hurt someone’s feelings. This is what the matter is with the world and I believe 50% of people suffering with mental health issues are a result of the ignorant tongue on TV and social media. The constant need for perfection is throttling our world and causing so many deaths, whether it be through causing depression, social anxiety, eating disorders or whatever is eating away at our souls. The other 50% are individuals suffering from P.T.S.D – through employment, childhood or a devastating accident……. So, so sad.
Through my late teens and early adult years, I was riddled with depression or what is now called ‘smiling depression’ and bulimia. Nobody knew of my inner sadness and the enemy eating away at me. I was the jokey one in my group of friends and the one who was there for anyone in need. I reached a tipping point when I was sat in a restaurant with my family, I couldn’t force small talk, I couldn’t force a simple smile, I was numb and my thoughts were occupied with planning my suicide as soon as we got home. I woke the following morning, everything extra loud around me and a panic throughout my body. I was still here and I didn’t understand why it didn’t work. I had to tell my mother, who was amazing. Being a nurse, she automatically put her ‘nurse head’ on and she took me to the hospital. It was being there that fed me so much motivation to fight to not let others go through the staff ignorance I had to endure. Because of my age, they insinuated that it was because of a boy. The fire in my belly was ignited and that’s when I started my journey in getting mentally better and train in something I was very passionate about.
I left my home in Penzance and moved to Kingston-Upon-Thames where I worked as a Nursing Auxillary on a busy surgical ward at Kingston Hospital. I loved it and I loved the fact that I was the one who had the knack of sitting with those struggling with mental health problems and making them feel less alone.
Following that, I trained in Counselling, Stress Consultancy and Life Coaching via a distance learning school. Not the traditional way of qualifying but still a genuine way to work on a self employed basis and not follow too many rules that were not necessary (the fundamental rules of confidentiality & professional boundaries are paramount). This school was designed for people who have experienced mental health problems, who have suffered or have learning difficulties and have turned their lives around. I was able to continue working (where I gained my practical experience) whilst studying and now I work for an amazing mental health charity called MIND and have now set up my business ‘Clear Your Mind’.
There are so many people I hear from who are too frightened to ask for help or to even be themselves. Why can’t these individuals reach out for help at their most vulnerable? Why do they have to suffer in silence because they haven’t the strength to leave their home to attend an appointment? Clear Your Mind will not just help someone begin to value their lives and start living but also assist them in decluttering their home. A chaotic mind can create a chaotic living space and vice-a-versa.
I am a massive fan of the author Sarah Knight, she brings humour to our struggles and isn’t shy to call it what it is. Her books will make you feel less alone and you will feel empowered.
Wish me luck in assisting people to see clearer and start smiling again.